Post by Jacob "Mutherfuggin" Cruise on Aug 3, 2011 13:47:45 GMT -5
Posted Monday, August 1st 2011:
What is up my Cruisers and Cruisettes. Supposedly, that's what
I am to call you all from now on. Our media and social
management department, or some shit like that, think
that now I am champion I need to be a bit more user
friendly. For example, by having a lame name for my
male and female audience and by writing these ridiculous blogs.
Supposedly if I turn on this portable porn device, I can actually
access other things than boobage. Apparently theres a whole
cyber world. For some reason, the higher ups think if I hop on
this inter-webs thing and type a few words about my current
status, it will help me rise to stardom faster. So, I hope said
higher ups don't get mad when here in a few minutes or so
I take this laptop into the crapper with me and post this status update:
"Taking a shit and it smells like the chili Nando cooked for me
and Cam that one time"
Yeah, hopefully they don't get to mad about that. I'm just doing
what I was told to do. Keep you fans updated. And sorry in
advance in my status updates get kind of repetitive. Your
probably going to see a lot of updates saying things like
"Drinking a beer" or "masturbating". That's pretty much my
day in short form.
Man, I hope this shit has spell check or you guys probably
won't understand a damn thing I just wrote. Well, I'll be
"hitting" you back soon. I think that's what kids say
nowadays right?
This is Cruise, over and out.
What is up my Cruisers and Cruisettes. Supposedly, that's what
I am to call you all from now on. Our media and social
management department, or some shit like that, think
that now I am champion I need to be a bit more user
friendly. For example, by having a lame name for my
male and female audience and by writing these ridiculous blogs.
Supposedly if I turn on this portable porn device, I can actually
access other things than boobage. Apparently theres a whole
cyber world. For some reason, the higher ups think if I hop on
this inter-webs thing and type a few words about my current
status, it will help me rise to stardom faster. So, I hope said
higher ups don't get mad when here in a few minutes or so
I take this laptop into the crapper with me and post this status update:
"Taking a shit and it smells like the chili Nando cooked for me
and Cam that one time"
Yeah, hopefully they don't get to mad about that. I'm just doing
what I was told to do. Keep you fans updated. And sorry in
advance in my status updates get kind of repetitive. Your
probably going to see a lot of updates saying things like
"Drinking a beer" or "masturbating". That's pretty much my
day in short form.
Man, I hope this shit has spell check or you guys probably
won't understand a damn thing I just wrote. Well, I'll be
"hitting" you back soon. I think that's what kids say
nowadays right?
This is Cruise, over and out.
